The Self-Love (Book) Club
Self-love is a real thing. It’s sometimes hard to attain. Depending on the messages you received when you were a child, self-love is either your thing or it’s not.
Self-love isn’t based in conceit. It’s not boastful or braggy. But it is proud, confident, content. When you love yourself, you know that you are good enough, just as you are. You value yourself, and you steer clear of drama, gossip, hurtful people, and ugly conversations.
This self-love thing was always really tough for me. I never felt worthy of love, so it was hard for me to see myself as lovable. I always felt love was conditional. I’ve been doing the work, digging in and really looking at the messages I’ve received and integrated, especially the ones that are false. I’ve done lots of breathwork to release those old, untrue messages. But still, there was a glimmer of “not enough” always flashing on the dashboard of my life.
It wasn’t until a very sweet girl entered my life, by way of my son, that I saw how deeply those messages can effect us. She is a beautiful girl, smart, funny, you name it. And yet, the messages she tells herself are that she is worthless and unlovable. I tried to talk to her about it, but nothing sunk it. The messages are deeply ingrained. Seeing this amazing soul suffer so much really brought me to my knees. I cried for days, wondering how it came to be that she was just so sad. My heart broke. Truly, I have never before felt such sadness over something that wasn’t mine.
I reached out to breathwork healer Michelle D’Avella to ask her for help. I had given Michelle’s book, The Bright Side of a Broken Heart, to this fragile young girl. As Michelle and I connected, I began to think about how much her book processed things in my life, and how I hoped it would do the same for that sweet girl.
And then it came to me. We can all help each other to heal by discussing what comes up for each of us. We can do that in a way that takes away our victim voice and instead, empowers us “to take the breaks off”* and move toward healing. It’s this idea that has gotten me to facilitate a free online book discussion on self-love and healing, based around Michelle’s book.
Having it online, in a Secret group, allows people who live far away to participate, on their own time, and it also gives us the courage to speak up. What happens in the group will stay in the group, making it a safe and soft place to fall.
Are you feeling sad? Is your heart broken? Are the messages that you tell yourself making you feel bad? Let’s move toward self-love. Join me in the month of October, for this free and beautiful connection. I am not a therapist; I am just creating a safe space for everyone to connect and heal by reading and discussing The Bright Side of a Broken Heart. For ease, the group will be on Facebook. To join, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and mention Self-Love Book Club.
*The phrase “take the brakes off” was shared in a group breathwork session by my teacher, breathwork healer, Erin Telford. I have never let go of that awesome phrase. Thank you, Erin.